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I used to wear my heart on my sleeve.  I was free with my emotions and nobody ever had to guess what I was thinking or feeling.

Now I keep my heart in a vault. 
In a secure facility surrounded by armed guards. 
With a moat. 
That is home to several hundred killer sharks. 

I took my heart out of this vault and I gave it to somebody.  My heart was locked up tight, but I respected him enough to not let my prior hurts and disappointments affect our relationship.  I gave it to him because I felt it was safe.  I felt that my heart would be protected by this person; that I was special enough to him that he would never let anything bad happen to it. 

That was so not the case.  He took my heart, held it in his hands, and then dropped it on the ground.  And it shattered into a million. tiny. pieces.  And while I was still working to pick those pieces up to put them back together, he stomped on them.

It's difficult because I gave this person everything I had to give.  Even though my head told me to protect my heart, I still gave.  I think it has to be one of the worst feelings to find out that you were never as important to someone as they were to you.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I've struggled a lot recently with the direction my life is going.  A few short months ago, I thought I knew exactly where it was headed and now I have no idea. 

But I know something that's for sure: life isn't always pretty.  It's downright messy and ugly at times.  But I'm reminded that so are most amazing works of art.  During the creation process they can look like a hot mess of crap, but once they're done?  People can't take their eyes off of it.  Something else I know for sure: my life is a beautiful creation. I feel; I know I'm here for an amazing purpose.  I'm supposed to do great things. I don't know exactly what yet, but oh.....they're coming!

I've made a lot of mistakes in the last year.  I've been naïve, at times I've been downright dumb, and above all I've been extremely blinded.  However, I know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that those mistakes were made so that I would learn a lesson.  I truly, truly believe that wherever you are is exactly where you're supposed to be.  Even if you're hurt, completely broken down, feeling like you've lost everything - you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

And the man I was referring to earlier?  I can't do anything but thank him.  Because shattering my heart into a million pieces and subsequently stomping on them showed me that I'm stronger than I thought.  I'm more resilient than I thought.  And my heart - because it's so precious - is supposed to be held by someone much more careful than him.